How To Win Friends & Influence People is a book authored by Dale Carnegie. This blog provides the book summary and encourage to read it.
Chapter 6: IF YOU DON’T DO THIS, YOU ARE HEADED FOR TROUBLE.
I once interviewed Jim Farley and asked him the secret of his success. He said, “Hard work,” and I said, “Don’t be funny.”
He then asked me what I thought was the reason for his success. I replied, "I understand you can call ten thousand people by their first names.”
“No. You are wrong, " he said. “I can call fifty thousand people by their first names.”
Make no mistake about it. That ability helped Mr. Farley put Franklin D. Roosevelt in the White House when he managed Roosevelt’s campaign in 1932.
During the years that he held office as town clerk in Stony Point, he built up a system for remembering names.
In the beginning, it was a very simple one. Whenever he met a new acquaintance, he found out his or her complete name and some facts about his or her family, business and political opinions. He
fixed all these facts well in mind as part of the picture, and the next time he met that person, even if it was a year later, he was able to shake hands, inquire after the family, and ask about the
hollyhocks in the backyard. No wonder he developed a following!
Jim Farley discovered early in life that the average person is more interested in his or her own name than in all the other names on earth put together.Remember that name and call it easily, and
you have paid a subtle and very effective compliment.But forget it or misspell it—and you have placed yourself at a sharp disadvantage.
Sometimes it is difficult to remember a name, particularly if it is hard to pronounce. Rather than even try to learn it, many people ignore it or call the person by an easy nickname. Sid Levy
called on a customer for some time whose name was Nicodemus Papadoulos. Most people just called him “Nick.” Levy told us, “I made a special effort to say his name over several times to myself
before I made my call. When I greeted him by his full name, ‘Good afternoon, Mr. Nicodemus Papadoulos,’ he was shocked. For what seemed like several minutes there was no reply from him at all.
Finally, he said with tears rolling down his cheeks, ‘Mr. Levy, in all the fifteen years I have been in this country, nobody has ever made the effort to call me by my right name.’”
What was the reason for Andrew Carnegie’s success?
He was called the Steel King; yet he himself knew little about the manufacture of steel. He had hundreds of people working for him who knew far more about steel than he did. But he knew how to
handle people, and that is what made him rich. Early in life, he showed a flair for organization, a genius for leadership.
This policy of remembering and honoring the names of his friends and business associates was one of the secrets of Andrew Carnegie’s leadership. He was proud of the fact that he could call many of
his factory workers by their first names, and he boasted that while he was personally in charge, no strike ever disturbed his flaming steel mills.
The executive who tells me he can’t remember names is at the same time telling me he can’t remember a significant part of his business and is operating on quicksand.
a flight attendant for TWA, made it a practice to learn the names of as many passengers in her cabin as possible and use the name when serving them. This resulted in many compliments on her service
expressed both to her directly and to the airline. One passenger wrote, “I haven’t flown TWA for some time, but I’m going to start flying nothing but TWA from now on. You make me feel that your
airline has become a very personalized airline and that is important to me.”
Most people don’t remember names, for the simple reason that they don’t take the time and energy necessary to concentrate and repeat and fix names indelibly in their minds. They make excuses for
themselves; they are too busy.
But they were probably no busier than Franklin D. Roosevelt, and he took time to remember and recall even the names of mechanics with whom he came into contact.
Franklin D. Roosevelt knew that one of the simplest, most obvious and most important ways of gaining good will was by remembering names and making people feel important—yet how many of us do it?
Half the time we are introduced to a stranger, we chat a few minutes and can’t even remember his or her name by the time we say goodbye.
One of the first lessons a politician learns is this: “To recall a voter’s name is statesmanship. To forget it is oblivion.” And the ability to remember names is almost as important in business and
social contacts as it is in politics.
Napoleon the Third, Emperor of France could remember the name of every person he met. His technique? Simple. If he didn’t hear the name distinctly, he said, “So sorry. I didn’t get the name clearly.” Then, if it was an unusual name, he would say, “How is it spelled?”. During the conversation, he took the trouble to repeat the name several times, and tried to associate it in his mind with the person’s features, expression and general appearance.
If the person was someone of importance, Napoleon went to even further pains. As soon as His Royal Highness was alone, he wrote the name down on a piece of paper, looked at it, concentrated on it, fixed it securely in his mind, and then tore up the paper. In this way, he gained an eye impression of the name as well as an ear impression.
All this takes time, but “Good manners, are made up of petty sacrifices"
We should be aware of the magic contained in a name and realize that this single item is wholly and completely owned by the person with whom we are dealing and nobody else. The name sets the individual apart; it makes him or her unique among all others. The information we are imparting or the request we are making takes on a special importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual. From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others.
PRINCIPLE 3: Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
